Slashie. It’s one of my favorite silly terms from one of my favorite silly movies.
Remember Ben Stiller’s Zoolander?
Stiller plays a dumber than dumb fashion model who aspires to win a Slashie award. The prestigious prize is given to the best model slash actor … hence Slashie … get it?
Can always count on Stiller to launch — and deliver — direct blows to his non-fictional Hollywood neighbors, it’s pretty much…awesome.
Tinseltown boasts a long list of real-life Slashies and, in turn, boasts a long list of forgettable movies I like to call Trashies. Perhaps a couple of the big studios would like to participate in some of these bailout talks? Maybe throw a couple hundred mill into the next proposed package … in lieu of creating another trashie? Mariah Carey’s next flick, that is essentially Glitter 2 set in the South, would be a fabulous start. Shout out to Major Studio X: please don’t put us through that again, we’re all still scarred from the first one. Take that money and dump it into the economy and find some … ya know, actors?
On a quick and serious note, the Hollywood Slashie really is a shame because there are so many talented actors eating gruel right now in their tore up studio apartments on the corner of Western Ave and Hollywood Blvd … actors who will never have the chance to move us on-screen because they weren’t born with the face/physique of a Megan Fox or an Ashton Kutcher — two well known and incredibly successful Slashies. I have to admit that the concept of the Hollywood Slashie is imaginable. I can see a clear link – pose in front of still camera, pose in front of video camera, say a couple of sentences that they tell me to say. The transition is definitely there and let’s face it, people like pretty faces … put those pretty faces in a movie, people will pay to see a movie … cha-ching … just made a few mill. It makes sense.
What doesn’t make any kind of sense — and I cannot for the life of me understand — is the political Slashie. The actor-turned-politician.
Where is the link? Where is the transition?
Are they accepting SAG cards as entry up there in Washington?
The actor-turned-policitian is nothing new, I know. The list is long and sparkly … Clint Eastwood, Jerry Springer, Al Franken, Sonny Bono, Fred Thompson, Ronald Reagan, Sheila Kuehl, Arnold Schwarzenegger — to name a few.
Now, I understand how and why someone would use their notoriety to raise awareness/money for a cause they may be passionate about — that makes complete sense to me. What I don’t understand is how one goes from reciting scripts to making decisions that actually changes people’s lives? It’s a bit of a stretch, no?
How educated can these decisions be?
I read a report in one of the papers a couple of weeks ago about how little our existing politicians know about — politics. We’re talking very basic laws and statutes. The numbers were nauseating. Many of the men and women, who were randomly polled, straight up don’t know how our country’s system works. Yikes, huh?
So what happens if we throw someone into the mix who has never gotten their political feet wet? Someone who knows more about the twists and turns of Mulholland Drive than they do about the global conveyor belt? Someone who thinks Kyoto is the name of Brangelina’s most recently adopted child? Someone who thinks NATO is an acronym for the National Actors Trust Organization?
You know what happens? I’ll tell you what happens … you end up with a few years of really entertaining press conferences and no progress with the outstanding issues of that particular municipality. Okay, okay I’m being a tad ridiculous, not to mention a little mean. I’ll stop.
I genuinely do not believe that all actors are stupid and have zero political knowledge … I just don’t see where the credentials are coming from. Many of the actors listed above only had work experience in film/tv when they took office. Pardon me, but isn’t relative work experience kind of crucial to the resume?
Is it all just a popularity contest and voters are to blame? Is this what you’re thinking?
Me too.
I gotta run … but before I do, I have to tell you — and feel free to call me a heartless B if you want — but if NY governor Paterson appoints Fran Drescher aka The Nanny to fill Hillary Clinton’s soon-to-be vacant senate seat … I will yack all over the place.
